thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
