i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
