who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
