i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
