Don't you send me to vm
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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