Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
