I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
