I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
