Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
