Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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