Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
this beer tastes like vomit already
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
