found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
