I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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