My room smells like vodka and shame
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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