i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
