Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
