She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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