i think i have two assholes
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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