Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize