I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
