Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
