At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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