i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Randomize
