escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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