i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
