this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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