So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
