I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
