butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize
