He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
