Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
