I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
