I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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