Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize