Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
