Whod you bang
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
