You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize