And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
