some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
time to smoke my breakfast
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize