There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
