You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
