she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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