For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize