i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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