Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
