none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
