Everything about him screamed your future.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
