Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
