were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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