Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
