toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
how can u be prego again
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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