What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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