Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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