god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
