Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
