his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
