You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
