I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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