you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
