the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
