I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
